Life's a Beach (or not)

by Christine Vick

As of this month, thanks to your feedback, we're changing our Simplifying column a bit. Instead of being an essay, it will be a personal thought from one of our four editors on making life a bit easier and less stressful. It's my turn to start.

This month my family had a reunion at a beach house in Ocean City, N.J. We scheduled it for the week of June 20-June 27th, which happened to be right on the heels of my children's last week of school. Between teacher gifts, PTO commitments, the final little league games, a piano recital and my daughter's birthday party, I couldn't even think about packing until the day before we left. Which was too late.

I realized as I was running to and fro, changing laundry and checking items off my list, that I HATE packing. I dislike it so deeply that doing it almost outweighs the fun of going on vacation. It's hard for me to admit this; since I edit an organizing website, I feel that I should have a better handle on the process. Here's what makes it difficult:

1. I like concentrating on one task at a time. Packing requires me to focus on lots of mini tasks, like doing laundry, gathering clothing and other necessities and planning food for the trip, in addition to my regular jobs. Even though I keep a list, I find myself continually frazzled by the scattered to-dos popping up in my mind.
2. It's a last minute activity. You can attend to some details in advance (paying bills, shopping for food for the trip, stopping the mail) but many packing-related tasks must be done the day before or the day of.
3. I'm not by myself. Checking items off my list and meeting the needs of my four children means I'm pulled in too many directions at once. Even though my kids help out, they need supervision and direction, so simple tasks take twice as long.
4. I like to leave the house clean. Cleaning and packing don't mesh (at least for me). I have to be packed before I start cleaning, and since I'm often behind, I'm racing around with the vacuum and a bottle of 409 spray while my husband loads kids into the car (and waits).

Looking back at my departure strategy and my pre-trip schedule, it's obvious what went wrong. I made too many commitments the week prior, I didn't make a master checklist of details, I started too late, and I got stressed out (A fly on the wall could probably point other mistakes that I didn't even notice).

Even with the clarity of hindsight, I'm not sure how the circumstances could have been different. Although I'm careful about over scheduling, sometimes it's not possible to say no or wiggle out of commitments without putting others in a difficult position. And when you have children, it's hard to accomplish tasks within a given time.

The one thing I could have changed was my attitude. When I was feeling stressed about packing, my husband said, "Don't worry so much. We're going on vacation, and we're driving, so who cares if we get there later?" Such an obvious thought (thanks sweetie), but it never would have crossed my mind. Like a robot, I was fixated on one goal: must leave at four o'clock. I can't always predict the way my days will turn out, but I can decide not to give small projects, deadlines or assignments the weight of a UN Summit.

We're going camping later in the summer, and I'm determined to enjoy packing, or at least hate it less. And if that doesn't work, then I'll focus on being cheerful and calm (my husband is laughing as I write this). I'll let you know how it goes.